Saturday, October 9, 2010

Top 20 Reasons You're Probably A Rockstar's Asshole and Not A Rockstar Photographer

You've seen them. They pollute the Twitter air with their trash, their friend's trash, and anything else they can pile on to stink up your social network time online. We're talking about people that you wish you could say something to, but were too afraid to say something and come off rude. The problem is, these people are quite self serving, and not trying to genuinely connect with you. And you know it.

The PZN staff is hanging out in Newport Beach, California doing very little shooting (surprised? no one really does around here), so we had some time to compile this list of top 20 asshole behaviors of photographers on Twitter. Why asshole? Well, this word seems to be thrown around a lot these days. You may recall some photographers from California are actually using this word a lot these days. So we thought, why not?

Without further ado, here we go.

You're a Rockstar's asshole if:
  1. You tweet about the last 2 seats left at your workshop while all seats are still available.
  2. You retweet about someone else's workshop with only 2 seats left.
  3. You use "my friend" when @mentioning someone you're only an acquaintance with, if that.
  4. You @mention D-class celebrities that you were the 5th shooter for. (Even then, its a D-list!
  5. You tweet about your email inbox in hopes people believe you're in demand.
  6. You have automated tweets of quotes by other people set to repeat every few hours.
  7. You're fighting with people on Twitter between your automated tweets.
  8. You tweet every positive press you get, even though you know your clients won't see it on Twitter, but only photographers.
  9. You retweet every other asshole's positive press, secretly believing the person you're retweeting might like you.
  10. You tweet #FF lists you've saved of people every Friday to cradle ballz, in hopes they return the favor.
  11. You don't use your real last name because it cheapens your brand value.
  12. You use 'The' in front of your last name.
  13. You endorse people on Twitter because you are butt buddies, not because your objective.
  14. You mix religion with your place of business, Twitter bio, Twitter feed, etc, that you actually believe won't polarize people of other faiths because they're going to hell anyway.
  15. You actually have the word 'Speaker' in your Twitter bio.
  16. You actually have the word 'Leader' in your Twitter bio.
  17. You block people on Twitter for questioning your self regarded greatness.
  18. You actually believe in your head that blocking people on Twitter is like a restraining order.
  19. You use Twitter as a marketing platform for your photography business for clients, but 99% of your followers are photographers.
  20. You actually believe you're a Rockstar photographer, but the guy at Taco Bell only asks for your order and not your autograph.
We started with top 10 but couldn't help but cap it at 20. We know there are plenty more.

EDIT (the ones we forgot):
21. You say "Goodtimes" after every tweet. (Thx @maloman)
22. You also say "Goodtimes" because you saw another asshole tweet it.
23. You announce you booked a destination wedding, but don't share that you're losing money on it.
24. The 150+ emails you just announced were mostly Facebook status updates from friends (Thx @analogepilot)
25. Your tweet includes the word "stoked."
26. You announce on Twitter you just booked a wedding.
27. You tweet a link to your latest blog post review on equipment you borrowed/rented.
28. You say things like "I love love!" or "I love Weddings" or "...for Fabulous People" in the profile (Thx @blifestyles)
29. You post blogs about internet courage wondering what all the fuss is all about (see Doug Boutwell).
30. You post a video on your blog about how you support the internet courage post and try to deflect by calling others 'retarded' and 'assholes' (see The Becker video and image above). (Editor's Note: The PZN staff has received numerous emails from our readers indicating they were offended with the word 'retards' Chris Becker used in the video he posted, along with his sad attempt to downplay and discredit anyone saying anything critical, which can be viewed here.)

If you're not picking up the theme here, it's quite obvious so many people really dislike the fakeness, a.k.a 'asshole behavior.'

Have one you wanna share? Which one is your favorite?

Go on with your bad self and tell us in the comments.

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